I am a bell-end.

In my online quest to be the most amusing twat in the Brighton area, I was typing a witty thing about receiving a "GRILLING" after having read an article entitled, "The day television caught fire." I sniffed the air.... Ahhh, sweet smells of barbeque, it must be Summer. Hang on, BARBEQUE? I'd accidentally turned on the grill and it was happily melting a shopping bag and toasting a six pack of toilet rolls that I'd rested on the cooker surface. Shit, fuck.....knackers! No harm done except for the permanently branded "M" of Morrison's on the cooker top.